I must admit this was not something at first I really wanted to write. Then again, my editor at Proyecto Vision stated, "It's nice to share." "Then again you have to write your story, but the only person who can write your story is you." The editor will add,  "Also by you sharing your story it might help others." I then realized after years of struggling and overcoming several obstacles, I decided that it just might help.

I remember what a couple of years ago, my college career counselor/big brother Mario Morales told me when I first attended City University: "When you graduate from college you will then enter a challenge and the real world." He was so right! While I was a student at Hunter College in New York City everyday for me a learning disabled student was a struggle.

Major challenges in college
What really held me back from graduation was the math/science distribution requirements students needed to pass in order to graduate. Ever since grade school, I was found math/science very difficult. I remember I needed to take a geology class with a lab. On paper it looked easy. The reality for me was it was difficult. Because I've had this problem since I was in grade school, I was accustomed to either not liking it or hating it. In fact this was one of the reasons why I transferred from one City University to the other.

Before attending Hunter College I was a student at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice. Now City University has a rule that states, if a student gets sixty credits or more they have to past three regency/city exams in Math/English/Reading. Eventually I did pass the Reading exam. Unfortunately I didn't pass the English/Math examinations. The English I flunked by one point, while I am not sure about the Math but from what I remember I also missed out there by a couple of points.

I then went to see the person in charge of the Disabled students at the institution, and the Dean of Students there at the time. They were both not helpful. Their attitude was "Hey you failed, damaged goods, who cares."  When hung out to dry it put me in one fine mess. I was booted out of the school in 1990. I had such a hard time trying to find employment. I must've cried the whole year.

Getting involved in Puerto Rican rights groups
What kept me on my two feet was the fact I started to get involved with an organization called the National Congress of Puerto Rican Rights.

They were a civil rights organization involved in issues affecting both the Puerto Rican and other Latin-Americans here in the United States. Around that period I was part of the Host Committee of a conference put together by the organization that took place in New York City in May 1991. It was a lot of work/fun. It kept me busy and away from the problems I was having trying to obtain employment.

Negative responses from agencies & organizations
What really used to hurt me hard was I would contact organizations which serve people with disabilities and they couldn't do anything for me… Sometimes I wonder are these organizations just a front?

That year 1990 I contacted the Mayor's Office on Disabilities to ask them for a job application. Good news: it arrived, I filled it out and sent it in. Bad news when the day came for the interview and yours truly went to the interview. I never got a phone call, or a letter, nothing.

So I contacted the office and the person who helped set-up the interview. The person indicated to me that "Well there is a job freeze in some jobs working for the city."  Then I ask what next? I never got an answer, to this day still waiting for the call.
           
The other agency I contacted was "Just One Break."  I don't even know why I sometimes contact this agency…maybe because I'm desperate. Back in 1990-91 I contacted the agency to help me. They did nothing! The woman who I contacted sounded so rude to me. One of the last times I contacted the woman who was assigned to help me, I'll never forget what she said to me. She stated "Listen you have to stop calling me, you are not qualified to do nothing." Years later in a desperate situation I asked the agency to help me again. Today that same agency hasn't provided me with any real help.

Ricardo Mendez who works at the Staler Center stated to me, "Other people here at the center have gone there and the same thing happened to them so we don't go to them anymore."  I've gone to other places for help, a temporary agency, for example, called Good Temps. Unfortunately the same result. I was asked to take an exam, for some customer service thing. They said I had to take the exam again -- my question is what was the purpose of the exam anyway? I did get a phone call from them after calling them for four months, but since then they haven't called me.

It was getting to a point that a learning disabled (LD) person shouldn't depend on agencies. They talk and talk and one has to ask are they really good as they say they are?  Do they have a relationship with Fortune 500 companies? 

One of the things I would love to do besides hoping to get employed is drive more often. I don't own a car, never have. One day I would love to. I wouldn't dare ask my family to drive and the reason is my family would say no. Then again how does one get experience except by having a chance!

Freelance writing opportunities
Right now I'm writing freelance for the Proyecto Visión newsletter that provides information for and about Latin-Americans with disabilities. I currently write about agencies that serve Latin Americans with disabilities. It's a lot of work. Then again what I like about it is it keeps me busy. I used to write for this newspaper, the Harlem Times. I got published, got to network with some people, but one problem was I didn't get paid. Then lady luck, a newspaper just recently got started, called Tiempo Newspaper. I haven't told them I am learning disabled. My editor and publisher have liked my work, they edited my work, and like me and have told me: "We want to see you grow with us."  Recently I just got my first paycheck from them. Boy was that great! 

Becoming active with cultural and civic groups
So besides my writing for these publications, what I also do to keep myself busy is being an activist on social and political causes. I am currently a member of the East Harlem Historical Society and also I'm a member of the East Harlem Little League where I'm a scorekeeper. For the last five years I've been active with two organizations which I've proud of. I am a member of Pro-Libertad, an organization that advocates the release of the Puerto Rican political prisoners, and also the Venceremos Brigade. A group every year in summer time goes to Cuba. I've had the honor of going to Cuba twice: great experience! So these activities keep me afloat.

What I do everyday is always keep my head up. My mother and counselor always tell me "It will come along, relax." I also like books, DVD/Videos and am a baseball fanatic. If I had money I would buy a car and visit some historical places/museums. Once Mario told me: "Hey, don't stop buying books/DVD's, those things keep you relaxed and focused." Now that I am writing for these two publications, it gives me a good feeling. One thing I would like to do is write a book. One thing a LD person shouldn't do is procrastinate. It doesn't help.
 
Closing advice
Take what others say with a grain of salt. I remember two friends of mine from college got mad at me about me not working and just focusing on my journalism experience. One of them told me, "You are living a fantasy." After talking to other people I decide not to listen to my two friends.

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